Those Flying Monkeys..

By Roula al-Dahhak, M.D

Neurologist and Life Coach

Founder of: CoachingPostToxicRelationship.com

Recently, there have been so many talks about flying monkeys among victims of toxic relationships.

The flying monkeys continue to gaslight the victims for a long time after ending or exiting a toxic relationship; thus, they add more trauma that can sometimes be worse than the trauma caused by exposure to the toxic persons within the relationships.

Flying monkeys are as toxic, if not more, than the toxic person in that relationship. They need to be pushed as far away from the victims as possible as soon as the victim exits the toxic relationship. They need to be blocked out of your life on your journey towards healing, as their main reason for them to exist in your life is to ensure you remain unwell. For that reason, when you achieve healing, they do not need to be allowed access back to your life. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! They will continue to play in favor of the toxic person for whatever reasons (family ties, working relationships, social benefits, and common interests).

There are also other reasons for why the flying monkeys are bias against you, and these reasons include-besides just pure cowardice-envy of what you achieved while they could not, jealousy of your strength and your success, dissatisfaction with your survival after they were hoping for you to be destroyed, and finally, their resentment when they see you and your children at peace and happy without the toxic person. THEY KNOW YOU WON! And that knowledge creates in them so many negative feelings, so they try to return to your life (if they are confident that you will take them back, as they count on your kind nature) to ensure that you stay unwell as much as they are unwell.

You need to recognize THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. They will never apologize for their spinlessness, they will never praise your strength, and they will never celebrate your survival and your victory. They need to be cancelled out of your life forever!

Only then can you smile and keep moving on without looking in the back mirror towards them- except with infrequent pity. Let them stay behind in their misery and learn you are strong with the Grace of God and His blessings, and that you made it through by His Grace and blessings without the need of such poisonous people. You pulled through, and you definitely do not want to go back to surrounding yourself with them. Let them stack on the sides of the toxic person who is in much need of them than you are. You can keep moving forward, smiling, and knowing that they belong there. Let me assure you that neither of them nor the toxic person is satisfied with the other's company, but they are stuck together where they belong, far, far behind.